"Tu es un bon garçon"

These were the words that I quietly spoke to Dimitri after a bath time from hell.

I'm slowly realizing, that these children don't respond to yelling, punishment, threats, or anger.

"Dimitri. I'm going to wash your hair now."
*crying*
"Dimitri, I'm going to wash your hair now, very quickly, then you can get out."
*yelling and crying*
"Dimitri, I'm going to wash your hair."
*kicking and yelling and crying*

Then quiet. He played.

After thirty minutes of nearly killing myself, I came to the conclusion that I will kill them with kindness. I've been reading a lot about deciding what reality we want to live in. I can either agree with the misery, OR I can disagree with it and fill in the blank with my own uplifted and positive lens.  Plus, it's the cheapest lens to have to look at the world because you can use it at any time, in any place.

When I took him out of the bath all hell broke loose. I carried him to his room as he screamed in my arms. I put him on his bed, and shut the door behind me. I could hear his cries from across the apartment. Five minutes later as I prepared Olympe's bath, a naked Dimitri confronted me in the living you.

"I'm upset" he yelled at me shivering.
"What can I do to make you not upset?" I asked calmly.
"Tu me habillé."

We walked quietly to his room. I helped him put on his pajamas and I left.
As I walked across the apartment, I heard very affirmatively in my thought to return to his room. He still sat on his bed.
I kneeled next to the bed and took his hands in mine. He stared at me blankly.

"Je veux tu savoir que je pense tu es un bon garçon. Je n'aime pas quand nous nous disputons."

I've never seen the type of smile that radiated off of his adorable five-year-old face.
"Tu pense que je suis un bon garçon?"
"Vraiment."
"Pourquoi?"

It broke my heart that this little boy, who can be such a little turd had to ask me why I thought he was a good boy. It's as though no one has told him exactly what makes him unique, what makes him loveable. He is loved, and they are great parents who provide a bounty of affection.
It was just a very humbling and moving experience to have.

We finished the pep talk with him kissing my hands, my cheeks, and us hugging like we actually liked each other.

As I left the room I turned around one more time.
"By the way, Dimitri?"
"Oui?"
"I know you have your dad's iPad under the covers."