Insanity

"Oh good, you're going insane too"

These words made me think. Too? Who else is going insane? You? How? You live in sunshine and desire. Me? I live in darkness and uncertainty. The world? Well, we all knew this day would come when the world loses all meaning, and even the artists can't express themselves.
But I suppose even the most desired people lose purpose when they've given so much of themselves away.

I've come up with a phrase. Mildly depressing, but insanely liberating:

I write because it makes me feel like I have told someone everything, even though no one is listening.

I get it. Do you?

After a fun afternoon of bowling, which I always forget how much I love AND hate, (but mostly love because the shoes are dope, and throwing shit is always fun; knocking things over & destruction, who doesn't love that!) I was given an hour and a half to myself to promenade through Arcachon.

Instead, I just went to the beach where I proceeded to stare at the sky for an hour. Incubus playing in my ears, the cold of the ocean whipping over my body, and hard sand straightening my absolutely disastrous posture. I stared at the sky, and was entertained. I think it's becoming an issue in the world that no one can just sit in silence, thinking of nothing, thinking of no one. How often are we completely at ease? I want to be more.

As important as I think it is to use one's mind, I think it's equally as important to not use it at all. To give it a break, a rest, a cleansing of silence. Even still you think a few things, how can you not? I'm not a buddhist monk, I haven't mastered the art of silencing my mind. But to be tranquil and content with solitude is an art I have mastered. I haven't spoken English out loud in days. I haven't noticed this much beauty in simplicity in a long time. I haven't had to constantly redirect my thought to the positive so consistently in a while. It's a great practice.

I began to draw the shapes in the clouds. Dogs, demons, birds, fancy dresses, etc. etc. etc.
When I'm alone I feel most like myself...

Insane is just another word for interesting...

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